Source: Team concerned about Croll's bowel habbits

An unnamed source confirmed Sunday morning that the team is worried about John Croll's bowel movements during the season. In a tigh game against Agawam, midfielder, Croll, requested a sub, looked Coach Miller strait in the eyes, and bodly stated "Coach, I have to take a shit the size of a baby." He then proceeded o make a world record 100-yard dash to the nearest tree, and added another log to the woods. Coach miller wasnt thrilled about the event. "Yeah I was pretty surprised about the whole thing. He avoided shitting his pants, but there was certainly some ass drool clear as day on his white shorts." Croll was benched for the remainder of the game when his ass faucet covered the entire penaly box with shit.

The team is in contact with Huggies for assistance in an urgent situation.

Darby O'Connor-ESPN

Related: Michael Hepper fights team's drug policy after failing drug test for 5th time. Claims "thatsthatshitidontlike". More to come.